I asked a couple of my friends/clients what kind of things they would like to see on the JBU blog. They gave me a plethora of ideas that they felt like our Inbetweenies would like to hear about. The one that was the most prevalent was “Knowing Your Worth!”
For example, one of my clients prefers to date older men. Not too much older, but early thirties is her preference (she is in her mid 20’s). She tends to feel like they don’t take her seriously because she is much younger or not as successful. We see the lovely women who date high profile men who are athletes, musicians, or entertainers and are constantly torn down by their peers reminding them that their spouse can do better. And my question to those people is, on who’s scale tho?
First of all, I want all my young ladies and gentlemen to know that they deserve the best of the best in this life. And whatever that looks like to you, hold it close
to your heart, don’t let anyone get in your head to make you feel like you are undeserving of that whirlwind love. Be okay with accepting that, yes, there might be someone out there more attractive, more money, better cars, nicer house, better upbringing, better connects, cooler outfits, or more IG followers. Trust me when I say, none of this matters. If two people want to be together, there is no denying that bond.
Now for the “Not-So-Great” news, know when to count your losses and walk away. If you want to be with someone so badly and THEY make you feel like it’s a privilege to be with them, have a talk with yourself. Ask yourself why you want to be with them? How do they make you feel? Can you see yourself with them in 5 years? And if you can, do you look happy? Do they fill you up, or do they drain you?
I can give my clients advice until the days run into the mornings, but when you know, you know. I’m all for letting people grow up, change, and evolve. After all, we are all transitioning! But it’s about what remains when all things are stripped off the frame. It’s about character. Who is that person? Are they still going to choose you? Are they depend
able? Are they trustworthy? Are they compassionate? People don’t tend to think of these things when the situation is good, because they seem irrelevant. Nothing is irrelevant. Use your partner as a mirror of things you might not see in yourself, but need to work on.
I started watching this show on Hulu called “High Fidelity,” starring one of my girl crushes, Zoe Kravitz. Her character on the show was describing how one of her ex’s made her feel. She said, “New York is full of people who make you feel not enough. There’s always someone richer or prettier or more successful than you. Kat made me feel not enough. She also made me feel special. Until she left me. After which, I felt…especially not enough. It wouldn’t be until I met Mac, who made me feel special and enough. And if you meet that person in this fuckin city, you’re crazy if you let them go.”
So please please please inbetweenies, make sure you are sharing your precious years with people who make you feel special and enough.